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Ladies and gentlemen, please forget your optimism for the new year. Stop thinking that things will improve, that common sense will finally make it’s way into politics, that knowing is half the battle…2006 will bear a strange sense of déjà vu all over it. Hey, it’s not because a number flip up on the calendar that suddenly, all the bad things of the past are now only a distant dream.
In 2006, people will still buy made in Bangladesh clothes, made in Pakistan DVD players, made in China computer gear, and will call the technical service in India because it doesn’t work. They’ll then go eat their grown in Brazil burger meat and drink their bottled in Mexico soft drinks, while thinking about the purchase of a made in Cambodia pair of shoes. People will also ask themselves why there aren’t any more jobs out there… This is why it won’t be better in 2006.
In 2006, people will still take their car to go buy milk at the convenience store a block away. People will still think they need a big SUV to drive to the mall, and will also continue to think that those insanely big vehicles that aren’t designed for highway speeding are safer than regular cars. People will still buy gas guzzling vehicles, and then complain of the high gas prices. And people will still prefer to use their car/truck instead of public transport, despite having to suffer the road jams twice everyday…People will still line up to buy big useless middle fingers on wheels that are Hummers and the like, but at the same time will act surprised that climate changes makes 9 feet of snow fall in Japan. This is why it won’t be better in 2006.
In 2006, people will still like being told what to like and what to buy. Anything they’re told is the hot item of the moment will be a definitive hit. People will buy the music they’re told is hot, will go see the movies they’re told are great, will go shop at a store they’re told is cool to buy a piece of clothing that everyone else is wearing. People will still be convinced that they need to watch TV on their cell phones, browse the internet on their fridge, or that carrying their entire music collection with them at all time is the only way to experience happiness. Marketing will still be king, and this is why it won’t be better in 2006.
In 2006, people will still like brands. “Like”? I should say LOVE brands. They’re already all over the place, and there’s no sign of slow down at all. Young (and older, but mostly young) people will still like to brand themselves, to associate themselves to some sort of company, turning themselves into walking advertising boards. They’ll brand their cars, their clothes, and everything they can think of, even their own skin, probably in the hope of gaining some sort of identity by looking like belonging in some sort of select club. Branding will continue to be the biggest religion worldwide, and this is why it won’t be better in 2006.
In 2006, people will still sit in front of their TV set to watch the latest reality TV show and the latest bunch of dumb lemmings wanting their 15 minutes of fame. This will continue to drive the television, movie and literature world to the rock bottom of low quality (and low expectation). The expression “watching TV” went from “watching stuff you don’t see everyday”, to “watching any ordinary average Joe do stupid or mundane things”. Quality content is declining, to the profit of these low-cost alternatives that seems to rack millions in profits to television networks. Just like manufacturing of goods is moving to cheap-labor countries, the artistic scene is also replaced by cheap-labor stand-ins, all in the name of more profits. Millions will continue to watch these insipid, empty-content, brain dead programs, and millions will continue to wish that one day, they’ll live the “American dream” for 15 minutes a day. And that’s why it won’t be better in 2006.
Again, in 2006, people will still complain that our leaders and politicians act too much like rich white businessmen, are corrupt like rich white businessmen, matters only about money like rich white businessmen, and then people will all go out and vote for… a new rich white businessman to replace the old. Just in case this new rich white businessman is less of a rich white businessman than the other rich white businessman. A cat is a cat, a dog is a dog, and a rich white businessman is by all means a rich white businessman. This is why it won’t be better in 2006.
Oh, and in 2006, the U.S. still won’t find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. They won’t find Osama Bin Laden, but will catch yet another “number two” guy of Al Qaeda. And most importantly, will still say that people hate the U.S. because of it’s “freedom”; freedom that is, unsurprisingly, constantly diminished, day after day, by way of crazy bills named to look like flamboyant patriotic measures, for good marketing. This is why it won’t be better in 2006.
Just sit down, relax, and enjoy the show. Just laugh out loud at all this hysterical demonstration of human stupidity. Laughing is a good exercise and if you do that for 5 to 10 minutes everyday, you might loose some weight over the next year. And this is why 2006 will probably be a little bit better, after all…
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